


A Voice Message?

by salty_09



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27420943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salty_09/pseuds/salty_09
Summary: Tsukishima Kei has never been the one to call anyone, Not that he was rude, or didn't talk to anyone, he just didn't understand why people called each other when you could simply text.But now when he finally does realise how important, immediate and intimate a phone call could be, there's no one on the other end to return it.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 5
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	A Voice Message?

**Author's Note:**

> This was made for Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, so this is obviously sad. I was actually hesitating a little to write this, but anyways I hope you enjoy :>
> 
> Day 2 prompts used: Phone calls/Texts + Insecurity + "Was I ever enough?"

* * *

~

The soft shimmer of the moon was the only light source in the otherwise dark sky, illuminating the tears trailing down his sharp features, glasses already thrown away as Tsukishima Kei squinted at the screen in his hands, hunched over the balcony, looking for something.

Ah, there it was. Yamaguchi Tadashi.

His fingers hovered over the contact flashing on his screen, wondering if he should call or not. Yamaguchi was his best friend, had been for a while now, but Tsukishima wanted more. Needed more.

And so he pressed dial.

Alas, the world likes to laugh at the ones clinging onto wistful ideas, and Tsukishima realised he had joined in to be laughed at as soon as he heard Yamaguchi's voice followed by a short beep, sadly realising that it was just the voicemail service, and not actually Tadashi.

No one picked up. Of course.

It was around 3 in the morning. No way would Tadashi be up. A fresh set of tears lined his eyes, but Tsukishima held them back, pressing on the contact again, hoping to reach the freckled boy at least once. Just one time. That's all he needed.

But the call just went to voicemail again.

Tsukishima tapped on the screen once more, longing to hear the soft voice to calm his nerves down, but all he got was the scratchy equivalent instead, crushing him further. But that didn't stop him either. He was desperately trying to hold onto a small part of hope that wasn't even there to begin with.

Kei tapped his fingers on the screen again, and again, each call eventually going to a voice message, which only ended up making his insecurities rise higher up.

Why was he doing this? Trying so desperately? He didn't know. Tsukishima just had one thought right now.

Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima decided to text the boy now, fingers flying across the screen to let all his questions, doubts, feelings and insecurities flow into the screen in one long text. His eyes flick to the time on the screen.

4:05am.

 _Have I really been trying to reach Tadashi for an hour now? Why didn't I give up after the first few calls?_ Tsukishima stared hard at his screen again, suddenly feeling like a text wasn't enough and settled on calling Yamaguchi one last time.

And just as he expected, the call went to voice messages again. But this time, Tsukishima pressed down, surprising himself with how raspy his voice sounded as he spoke.

* * *

Yamaguchi's alarm went off at 5:30am, disrupting his deep sleep. It had been a while since he'd slept this soundly.

He turned sideways, his hand groping around for his phone on the side table. As soon as he looked at the screen, Yamaguchi was pulled out of his sleepy daze instantly.

_(24) missed calls from Tsukki._

Kei. Tsukishima Kei. His best friend who would always rather text than call. He had called him. Multiple times, no less. In the middle of the night. Yamaguchi sat up straight when he saw a new voicemail from Tsukishima.

' _He's never done this before.. Why didn't Tsukki leave a voice message instead of texting me like usual?_ ' Yamaguchi gulped slightly, unsure of what to expect when he clicked on the play button.

" ** _I'm done, I'm so done Yamaguchi. It's well past 4 am, and I- I can't think of anything except the fact that I am so fucking done with all this._**

Tsukishima was rambling. Letting his words out like this was the last time he'd be doing it. And it wasn't what Yamaguchi was expecting or ready to hear.

Tsukki had been crying, he could tell. Sleep deprived, and crying. So unlike the Tsukishima he knew. and at 4am, no earlier.. It'd just been around an hour or so.. wh–

Yamaguchi got pulled out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard Tsukishima yelling at him.

" _ **-** **was I ever enough , Yamaguchi? I know I'm bad–I'm so bad at verbalising my feelings without jabbing at something or the other, but tell me. Was I too much? Too little? Would I ever be enough?**_"

Wait what? What did Tsukki mean?

Yamaguchi had never been so confused before– maybe his sleep-muddled head wasn't thinking properly, so he decided it'd be better to finish listening to the message after he has gotten up and shook the sleep off–

_**–actually dont. Don't tell me anything; I have a feeling of what'd you'd say and I don't want to hear you confirming it so just.."** _

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Yamaguchi could suddenly hear the muffled urgency, sadness and pain hidden in Tsukishima's voice clearly now. He jumped out of bed, grabbing a jacket before sprinting out of his house.

5:40 am.

Maybe he could reach in time.

Yamaguchi could hear Tsukishima's voice through his phone as he ran, and Yamaguchi stumbled on his feet as Tsukishima's message came to a soft end, tears welling up in his own eyes at the words, knowing he couldn't– _wouldn't_ make it on time.

_**"Just do whatever you want to–yell, whisper, scream or cry– but do it at the moon from now on.."** _

_~_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> cries ok so this is my first time posting on here and I started mainly because a friend on twitter got suspended and lost their threadfic(s) and I don't want that. also might post the other ones too, so like please tell me if you want more skmfksmf


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